My first STD was from a foam party
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
