thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
