Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
