I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
