i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
