Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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