I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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