I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
