i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
