your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
