This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Pants are for mortals
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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