I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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