It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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