so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
