found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize