Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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