Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
third nipple confirmed
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
