you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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