worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
