I want to have your abortion
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
