Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I've blown a few things in my day
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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