so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
