Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
