I'm really into asian looking animals
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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