turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
If I die, sorry about rent.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize