Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
