We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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