I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
