New low: just hacked my moms facebook
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
