I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
