Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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