once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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