I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
