Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize