Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
