Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
