Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
