Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
