ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
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