my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
