i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
