The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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