from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
