Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
