Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
