I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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