Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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