Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
