You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
