Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
