Sry I called you an 8
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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