Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
