My room smells like vodka and shame
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
