He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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