I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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