thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
