So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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