I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize