I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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