Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
