Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
