i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
