this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
