There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
