And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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