yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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