GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
