So drunk its hurt
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
