I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
