He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
