His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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