just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
