Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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