Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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