Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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