He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
