I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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