It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize